Bleeding Hearts



I’ll admit it, I’ve been in a funk recently.  Not unhappy, just mostly wanting to be at home, with my little family, keeping to ourselves.  Not really wanting to spend time with other people or get very involved in their lives. I kept asking Rob if we could move to an island with no other people; Swiss Family Robinson style.  I knew it wasn’t really good, but I wasn’t quite sure where it was coming from or what to do about it.  It was just a vague feeling really. 


Then just this week God came and put His finger on it and helped me see with startling clarity what was in my heart.  Someone came up to me very unexpectedly.  It was the kind of person you are friendly with, know the name of, and probably wave to.  But beyond that you know nothing about them, or they about you.  Well, this person walked up to me, asked if I was a Christian, and when she confirmed that I was, she proceeded to tell me her story.  It was a sad story, filled with regret and heartbreak.  She told me in hopes that I would care, and could offer some hope to her.  I listened and tried to understand as best I could.  But in my deep heart I just kept wishing that she hadn’t told me.  Now that I knew, I couldn’t just smile and wave anymore.  Now my heart was broken for her.  I hurt for her pain and the brokenness of her situation.  I won’t ever look at her the same way again.  Now I know………..


That’s the trouble you see.  It’s why I wanted to stay inside.  I don’t always want to know.  Sometimes knowing can be exhausting.  Recently I had my heart broken by someone I loved and invested my heart into.  I invested my time, my care, and my heart into her world.  And then when I least expected it, when things were getting better, when He was changing her world into something good, she walked away, not just from me, but from her husband, her child, and most importantly, God.  She is in a spiral of hopelessness that just keeps getting worse.  But instead of turning back to Him, she is looking for any way but His way to fill the emptiness in her soul.  Watching her self-destruct is agonizing. 


The healing I needed came just that night.  I had forgotten all about my plans for dinner with a friend I rarely see.  When she reminded me, I was tempted to cancel given my gloomy mood, but I knew I would regret not seeing her.  So I picked up another friend and off we went on the long drive to the other side of the city.  Over dinner we talked about where He had us and where He was taking us and we shared our hearts.  It was the medicine my heart needed, the shot in the arm my courage needed. 


The fact remains; we live in a broken world, with broken hurting people.  Like it or not the pain will come and the hurts will happen.  Choosing to love and care for other person always involves pain of some kind.  Seeing people as He sees them and loving them as He loves them, means your heart will bleed for them.  His heart bleeds for them and the more you become like Him, the more your heart will beat like His heart.  You won’t be able to ignore their pain or their tears and it will hurt.  But if He is our example then I have far to go.  He left heaven and came to us.  He came to us in our brokenness, in our sin, in our despair.  He didn’t hide himself from our pain but instead He took it upon Himself and carried it to the cross.  He redeemed me at that cross and gave me a new heart.  It’s a heart full of hope, and little by little it’s a heart changing to be like His.  Since He hurt for me, I will hurt for other people.  And that’s ok.


It’s ok because the hurt won’t last forever.  There is coming a day when He will wipe away every tear.  This broken aching world will be replaced with something new.  The sin that rips at our souls and tears apart our homes and families will be defeated.  We will be at rest; forever at rest.  No more broken homes, no more sickness, no more death.  This endless cycle of people hurting each other and themselves will be broken.  The blood that was shed for your sin and mine will wash it all away.  And we will be forever with the Lord.  I can’t wait. 



But for now I am here with the broken people that I love.  So I will pray for strength to love them more and courage to keep the doors of my heart wide open and keep pointing people to the hope that is only found in Him.  He’s worth the wait.  


Matthew 9:36 "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd."

Ephesians 2:4-5 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved."

Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

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