I may never.....
Some days I think I am used to living here. My language skills are improving. I don't have much difficulty getting around anymore. I have lots of friends to help if I do get into trouble. I feel as if the culture shock has worn off. But just when I start to feel at home I find that there I some things I may never get used to:
People spitting in public: More specifically people spitting in my general personal space. Last week as we were walking into a restaurant, someone spit ON ROBBIE. Fortunately I did not see the person, or I would have probably lost all self-control. It was a big black nasty chewing tabacoish spit that was sticky and makes me shudder even to think about. Thankfully it landed on his jacket and not in his hair so I could take it off (my wonderful brother-in-law briefly washed it in the bathroom and then I took it home for disinfection). It also served as a good object lesson to my young son who has, in the spirit of the culture, recently taken up spitting outside. Obviously we are discouraging this practice and now he has a good idea why :-)
The split pants on kids: I always just laugh when a grandmother scolds me for how my kids are dressed outside. They have on coats and are perfectly warm and comfortable. But without fail, some well intentioned older woman will come over and scold me on my childrens' lack of quilted, padded, suffocating clothing. I laugh because she is holding a little child with split open pants who has their most sacred parts hanging out in the cold. Can you imagine going down a slide on the playground, or sitting in the sand that way????? I still shudder.
(photo credit: qriouslife.com)
The public potty: Just this week 2 friends of mine had the ever amazing experiences of watching a small child pee in the most unusual spots. One friend was in a coffee shop; a nice western coffee shop with perfectly accessible clean bathrooms. Next to her a family took their child (with split pants) to pee on a potted plant. Of course the child entirely missed the plant and just left a puddle on the coffee shop floor. This didn't seem to bother anyone else but my friend and her family who were trying to enjoy lunch.
However for all the bad there is always also so much good. I love the open hospitality of the Chinese people. I know it isn't the case everywhere in China, but in this city our interactions with people are overwhelmingly positive. This weekend the kids and I were the recipient of a wonderfully fun jiaozi making party in the village. We had such a great day and were treated with such love. A few things I love about China:
The family titles: Everyone you meet, even on the street gets greeted like family. All the adults passing my children call out "Ni Hao Xiao Pengyou" (Hello small friend). The children call younger women ayi (aunt) and older women laolao (grandmother). Older men are yeye (grandfather) and younger men are shushu(uncle). My kids call any older girls on the playground Jiejie (big sister) and younger girls meimei(little sister). Bigger boys are Gege (big brother) little boys are Didi(little brother). I find that using these titles makes my kids more comfortable and really lends to a spirit of friendliness.
Hospitality: There is a constant spirit of hospitality here. No Chinese person ever enters your home without bringing a gift. This sometimes causes me great stress because I still feel as if I am unaware of proper gifting etiquette when going as a guest to a Chinese home. I am slowly learning how to give a proper gift. They always err on the side of extreme generosity no matter what their situation in life. If you are the guest in a Chinese home you will be offered food until you cannot possibly eat anything more. They go out of their way to make a guest feel served and welcomed. They intentionally make more food than you could ever consume. It would be considered poor hospitality on their part if you were able to come close to eating all the had to offer. It is intimidating to me, but I find it a very endearing custom. I always leave a Chinese home feeling truly loved upon and humbled by their spirit of hospitality.
The amazing contrasts: I love the ability to walk out my door and, depending on which direction I choose to wander, within 5 minutes I can be in either a poor village or an upscale shopping mall. In one direction is the ocean, in another the mountains. There are people from every walk of life, of all ages, and financial positions just outside my door. There are wheelbarrows filled with trash, bicycles, taxis, and BMW's driving down my street. On one corner is an expensive restaurant and just outside it a street vendor selling something on a stick. There is a city of millions and beautiful views of nature just depending on where you look. The contrasts in all of it never cease to fascinate me and to make me give thanks to our creator for all of the beauty I find.
Life just fascinates me; the ugliness and the beauty, the agony and the joy, the despair and the hope in all of it. I am thankful for the opportunity to live for now in this part of the world, and most thankful for the chance to see it through His eyes.
People spitting in public: More specifically people spitting in my general personal space. Last week as we were walking into a restaurant, someone spit ON ROBBIE. Fortunately I did not see the person, or I would have probably lost all self-control. It was a big black nasty chewing tabacoish spit that was sticky and makes me shudder even to think about. Thankfully it landed on his jacket and not in his hair so I could take it off (my wonderful brother-in-law briefly washed it in the bathroom and then I took it home for disinfection). It also served as a good object lesson to my young son who has, in the spirit of the culture, recently taken up spitting outside. Obviously we are discouraging this practice and now he has a good idea why :-)
The split pants on kids: I always just laugh when a grandmother scolds me for how my kids are dressed outside. They have on coats and are perfectly warm and comfortable. But without fail, some well intentioned older woman will come over and scold me on my childrens' lack of quilted, padded, suffocating clothing. I laugh because she is holding a little child with split open pants who has their most sacred parts hanging out in the cold. Can you imagine going down a slide on the playground, or sitting in the sand that way????? I still shudder.
(photo credit: qriouslife.com)
The public potty: Just this week 2 friends of mine had the ever amazing experiences of watching a small child pee in the most unusual spots. One friend was in a coffee shop; a nice western coffee shop with perfectly accessible clean bathrooms. Next to her a family took their child (with split pants) to pee on a potted plant. Of course the child entirely missed the plant and just left a puddle on the coffee shop floor. This didn't seem to bother anyone else but my friend and her family who were trying to enjoy lunch.
However for all the bad there is always also so much good. I love the open hospitality of the Chinese people. I know it isn't the case everywhere in China, but in this city our interactions with people are overwhelmingly positive. This weekend the kids and I were the recipient of a wonderfully fun jiaozi making party in the village. We had such a great day and were treated with such love. A few things I love about China:
The family titles: Everyone you meet, even on the street gets greeted like family. All the adults passing my children call out "Ni Hao Xiao Pengyou" (Hello small friend). The children call younger women ayi (aunt) and older women laolao (grandmother). Older men are yeye (grandfather) and younger men are shushu(uncle). My kids call any older girls on the playground Jiejie (big sister) and younger girls meimei(little sister). Bigger boys are Gege (big brother) little boys are Didi(little brother). I find that using these titles makes my kids more comfortable and really lends to a spirit of friendliness.
Hospitality: There is a constant spirit of hospitality here. No Chinese person ever enters your home without bringing a gift. This sometimes causes me great stress because I still feel as if I am unaware of proper gifting etiquette when going as a guest to a Chinese home. I am slowly learning how to give a proper gift. They always err on the side of extreme generosity no matter what their situation in life. If you are the guest in a Chinese home you will be offered food until you cannot possibly eat anything more. They go out of their way to make a guest feel served and welcomed. They intentionally make more food than you could ever consume. It would be considered poor hospitality on their part if you were able to come close to eating all the had to offer. It is intimidating to me, but I find it a very endearing custom. I always leave a Chinese home feeling truly loved upon and humbled by their spirit of hospitality.
The amazing contrasts: I love the ability to walk out my door and, depending on which direction I choose to wander, within 5 minutes I can be in either a poor village or an upscale shopping mall. In one direction is the ocean, in another the mountains. There are people from every walk of life, of all ages, and financial positions just outside my door. There are wheelbarrows filled with trash, bicycles, taxis, and BMW's driving down my street. On one corner is an expensive restaurant and just outside it a street vendor selling something on a stick. There is a city of millions and beautiful views of nature just depending on where you look. The contrasts in all of it never cease to fascinate me and to make me give thanks to our creator for all of the beauty I find.
Very well written...makes me miss QD. Glad you are enjoying it and settling in well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this! It made me laugh (and cringe). "Thinking" of you!
ReplyDelete