Living Life Together


Hard to believe another school year has come to an end.  This time it marked the end of 6 years in China for us which is even crazier.  We have now lived more than ½ of our married life in China.  Weird.  This past month was a hard one as we said our rounds of yearly goodbyes to all of the expats moving away from China and on to new adventures or back to their homes.  Although in some ways we have gotten used to the stream of goodbyes, it never gets any easier.  This year was particularly hard as we said goodbye to three families that hold our hearts in a special way.


As I have pondered what these sweet friends have meant to us, I was particularly struck by a phrase that one of them used.  She said one of the hardest parts of leaving China would be that we they would miss “doing life together” with our family.  As I have thought it over I find that it truly does encapsulate what I will miss about these friends/family.  The ways we came to be close are all a bit different; some are related by blood, some by the brotherhood of Christianity, and some by the forged bond of living life as foreigners in a foreign place.   But, with each of these families, we had the distinct pleasure of “living life together”.  For these past few years we have raised our families together in this crazy unique place called China and in doing so we have been knit together in good times and hard times in ways that will not be easily forgotten.  Together we have witnessed the birth of many of our children, sat in dirty hospital rooms holding sick children, vacationed in exotic locals, potty trained, learned the “rules” of driving in a land where there are no rules, negotiated endless paperwork, visited zillions of playplaces, struggled to pay bills and buy things while communicating with our broken Chinese language abilities, and experienced a million zany, hysterical, frustrating, inspiring, tragic, and joyful moments.  These were the first people we called when we were in trouble, had a silly story to share, or generally needed a shoulder to cry on.  If we needed to travel without kids they were the ones that I entrusted to care for my kids and the ones who knew where I kept the “just in case” letters to my children in case of the unthinkable.  Friendship like that can’t be bought or even willed into existence.  It is the product of laughter, tears, love, and trust.  Family became friends, and friends became family along this crazy journey of living life together in China. 



I actually can’t imagine what my life in China will look like without these families.  It will alter the way we do birthdays, holidays, and more importantly just daily life.  I still haven’t allowed myself to fully mourn the loss of it because until now I was too busy enjoying the gift of it.  As I look forward into the future, I know that adjusting to life without these families will be painful.  But I also know that the pain will be a worthy part of the price we paid to enjoy the gift of friendships like these.  Each and every one of them was truly a gift to us over these past years.  They have made living overseas an exciting and joyful adventure.  They enriched our lives with their laughter, love, and loyalty.  We will forever be better and stronger because of what they taught us and the ways in which they changed us.  I don’t know why God is choosing to take them out of our lives all at all and especially all at once, but I have to believe that He has a plan, and that whatever the reason it is a good one.  We have been blessed in our lives with more good friends that we could name here, each were brought into our lives for a specific season and hold a specific place in our heart.  I know our future will hold many more wonderful friendships as well, each for it's own precious season.  We are thankful for all the gifts of friendship God has given us, and specifically today that he gave us these wonderful moments during our time in China.  We look forward to all the future times when our paths will cross again and we will experience fresh (even if briefly) the joy of sharing life together. 

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