Milestones
2014 is a year with a lot of milestones for me. Some of them are silly and some big, but they mean something to me. I find myself very reflective these days, wondering where the time has gone, and where it is going? It definitely is fleeting.
This year is 10 years since my graduation from university. It seems so long ago and just like yesterday depending on where I am and who I am talking to. Study for those tests, laughing with those friends, looking ahead with the whole world in front of me. Some days I still feel like that girl, but more days than not I don't. I think she is fading.
The next even more monumental 10 year anniversary will be my wedding. I've been married for 10 years as of this summer. 10 years. How is that possible? This one always gets me. Married for 10 years is no little blip on the radar. I definitely feel too young for this one. I distinctly remember sitting in the newlywed SS class right after our wedding and looking at the next room where the 30 something married couples sat. I remember thinking how far away that seemed and how mature. All of their kids were school aged. Frankly it seemed so far off. I couldn't imagine myself in 10 years. I blinked and it hapened.
My baby turns 5 next week. That makes me feel panicky if I'm honest. She was just this little tiny screaming bundle, and then a little pigtailed pixie, and suddenly a giggling preschooler. She's going to start violin now, and transition to kindergarten classes. The pacifier is gone, the babyish looks are fading, and she is becoming a beautiful princess. I adore her, but I wish I could freeze time with her. My son will be 7. I can't even talk about that one. He's such a sweet tenderheart. He already knows I can't bear the thought of him growing up and although he loves to talk about his birthday which is months away, he tries not to mention the 7 part of it to much. He focuses on the Lego for my sake.
This will also be the 5 year anniversary of our move to China. 5 years ago, I boarded that plane and my world turned upside down after 24 hours of travel. When anyone asked how long, we would always say 5 years. Here we are, the 5 year mark fast approaching. We've already signed a contract to stay for year 6. This has become our world. We've lived 1/2 of our married life here, our children have lived all of their memorable life here.
There are more of these milestones in my head, too many to say outloud today. Each year as new college graduates arrive here to spend a year or two, I find myself marveling at how young they seem. One that I babysat more years ago than I wish to say, works alongside us now. These early 20 somethings coming in and I am suddenly aware that in their eyes, I am the 30 something wife with school aged children who seems so much older and in a place they can't imagine being just yet. When I see myself through their eyes, I don't recognize me.
The speed at which these 10 years have passed frightens me. It makes me feel fragile. It reminds me of how truly mortal I am. But it also reminds me of how blessed I am. These 10 years have been full to the brim of beautiful friendships, fulfilling work, my precious babes, my Prince Charming, breathtaking adventures, and the faithfulness of God. When I look into the future and try to imagine what 10 years from now will look like, I can't. I have no idea. But I do know they have already been loving planned out and prepared for by my gracious Heavenly Father. This isn't how I envisioned my future 10 years ago, but that's only because I couldn't dream big enough to imagine the future as God can plan it. It's been a fast and beautiful ride. So I will mark these milestones with prayers of thanksgiving. I will set them up as rememberances in my heart, so that every time I look into the unknown of the next 10 years I can call them to mind and use them to steady my heart in trust of His goodness.
This year is 10 years since my graduation from university. It seems so long ago and just like yesterday depending on where I am and who I am talking to. Study for those tests, laughing with those friends, looking ahead with the whole world in front of me. Some days I still feel like that girl, but more days than not I don't. I think she is fading.
The next even more monumental 10 year anniversary will be my wedding. I've been married for 10 years as of this summer. 10 years. How is that possible? This one always gets me. Married for 10 years is no little blip on the radar. I definitely feel too young for this one. I distinctly remember sitting in the newlywed SS class right after our wedding and looking at the next room where the 30 something married couples sat. I remember thinking how far away that seemed and how mature. All of their kids were school aged. Frankly it seemed so far off. I couldn't imagine myself in 10 years. I blinked and it hapened.
My baby turns 5 next week. That makes me feel panicky if I'm honest. She was just this little tiny screaming bundle, and then a little pigtailed pixie, and suddenly a giggling preschooler. She's going to start violin now, and transition to kindergarten classes. The pacifier is gone, the babyish looks are fading, and she is becoming a beautiful princess. I adore her, but I wish I could freeze time with her. My son will be 7. I can't even talk about that one. He's such a sweet tenderheart. He already knows I can't bear the thought of him growing up and although he loves to talk about his birthday which is months away, he tries not to mention the 7 part of it to much. He focuses on the Lego for my sake.
This will also be the 5 year anniversary of our move to China. 5 years ago, I boarded that plane and my world turned upside down after 24 hours of travel. When anyone asked how long, we would always say 5 years. Here we are, the 5 year mark fast approaching. We've already signed a contract to stay for year 6. This has become our world. We've lived 1/2 of our married life here, our children have lived all of their memorable life here.
There are more of these milestones in my head, too many to say outloud today. Each year as new college graduates arrive here to spend a year or two, I find myself marveling at how young they seem. One that I babysat more years ago than I wish to say, works alongside us now. These early 20 somethings coming in and I am suddenly aware that in their eyes, I am the 30 something wife with school aged children who seems so much older and in a place they can't imagine being just yet. When I see myself through their eyes, I don't recognize me.
The speed at which these 10 years have passed frightens me. It makes me feel fragile. It reminds me of how truly mortal I am. But it also reminds me of how blessed I am. These 10 years have been full to the brim of beautiful friendships, fulfilling work, my precious babes, my Prince Charming, breathtaking adventures, and the faithfulness of God. When I look into the future and try to imagine what 10 years from now will look like, I can't. I have no idea. But I do know they have already been loving planned out and prepared for by my gracious Heavenly Father. This isn't how I envisioned my future 10 years ago, but that's only because I couldn't dream big enough to imagine the future as God can plan it. It's been a fast and beautiful ride. So I will mark these milestones with prayers of thanksgiving. I will set them up as rememberances in my heart, so that every time I look into the unknown of the next 10 years I can call them to mind and use them to steady my heart in trust of His goodness.
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