Broken Hearts

Doesn't She Look So Grown UP?

Last week I broke my daughter’s heart.  It’s the first time that I remember her looking at me that way.  If you know Maddie then you know she is quick to laugh, mischief in her eyes, strong, and determined.  She doesn’t cry easily and if she does it’s mostly from pain (falling down or getting a cut) or occasionally embarrassment.  She spends most of her time chattering, singing, and giggling which is the direct opposite of her first year of life in which she cried non-stop and I wondered if she would ever be happy.  PTL that she developed into a pixie full of smiles and mischief. 
She loves to hold babies, especially adorable cousins like Delaney
We were riding in the elevator up to our apartment, behind me I could hear Robbie and Maddie chattering away to each other. We were leaving the next day for a quick trip to Beijing and so I was only half listening to the content of their conversation while I mentally went through packing in my mind.  That was until there was a dramatic pause in the conversation followed by Robbie saying, “Maddie, we’re NOT going to see Aubrey and Kendra, they are in America.”  Upon hearing this Maddie turned to me and looked up with imploring eyes asking her question without a word.  With a sinking feeling I suddenly understood the thoughts going through her tiny mind.  While we had been preparing for a quick trip to Beijing, she had been mentally preparing for the only kind of trip she remembers, a trip to America complete with all the wonders of our most recent trip:  grandparents, cousins, best friends, water parks, Christmas and the works.  Distance on the map doesn’t mean much yet to her.  So anywhere not here (our city in china), must be there (PA, USA).  I then had the terrible task of breaking my daughter’s heart.  I dropped to the floor in the elevator and gather her into my arms and told her carefully that a trip to Beijing didn’t include any of those treasured elements.  And then how she sobbed, oh did she sob.  Much longer than she’s ever cried before.  I carried her inside and held her close until the sobbing let up and then I made her laugh with a silly face, fortunately she’s easy to make laugh. 
Her first ever haircut!

A few days later we had a similar although less dramatic experience.  Robbie got something in the mail from a friend.  Both kids had just sent home little presents for some friends stateside.  I always tell them they can’t expect to get mail unless they send some themselves.  Maddie took one look at Robbie’s mail and burst into tears.  When I asked what was wrong she said, “Mommy I sent mail to all my friends, I did what you said, I tried hard to be a good friend, but no one sent me anything, I don’t have any friends”  It was pitiful and she looked so brokenhearted and rejected.  I reassured her and made her laugh again. 
My kids and their best friend/cousin Ella

This past week I’ve gotten a glimpse of my little tiny girl starting to grow up.  Starting to take things to heart and deepen her understanding of relationships and feelings.  Unfortunately heartbreak is a part of life.  If you love someone or something, eventually your heart will be broken in the process. Love is a bittersweet thing that way, but it’s value far surpasses it’s pain.  As my little girl grows into a woman she will face heartbreak from relationships, loss, sickness, failure, and so many other things.  So I must begin now teaching her where she can take her broken heart for mending.  Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds”  Her gracious heavenly father will tenderly take her fragile broken heart and make it strong again with the power of His great love.  I can’t protect my baby girl from every heartbreak, but I’m so thankful to be able to take her to the one who can make her whole.  

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