Open Hands

Not so long ago, I watched my daughter pick up something small and place it in her hand. A few minutes later I asked her about it and watched in amazement as she clenched her tiny fist around it, dug in her heels and refused to give it up. What had started as an innocent question from me, quickly developed into an all out mother/daughter war as we battled wills over this tiny object. The object itself had virtually no intrinsic value and my original intent was simply to talk with her about it and replace it with something better. Now however she left me no choice but to do battle for her little heart as her actions and attitude revealed her resolution to be the master of her tiny world. She reminds me of me.



Quite a few years ago now as a very young woman/girl, God asked me for something very precious to me, and at once the facade of my trust in Him was stripped away and like a small stubborn child I clenched my fist tight and refused to give it up. Like my daughter I screamed in anger at Him as He gently removed it from my hands and patiently walked me through my hurt, anger, and fear as I came to realize that in fact it had been His all along. He later returned it to me after molding and shaping it into something far more beautiful and valuable than what He had taken from me.



Fast forward a few more years and again I stood at a cross roads when God asked me for something else that I loved so deeply I thought my heart would break if I gave it up. But I had walked this road with God before and I knew that although all I could see was the heartache, He had something better planned. So that I time, I ever so fearfully opened my hands and said He could have it if He knew it was best. He didn't take it from me, but instead poured into my open hands blessings so full that my heart couldn't contain them.



Over the years He has gently taught me that everything and everyone I love really belongs to Him. There is no person, no plan, no thing that I possess that does not really belong to the one who made all things. I can claim something as my own and clench my fist tight around it, but in the end I will do so to my own hurt because in its place he would have given me something better. For I have as my Father, the one who created all, owns all, knows all, and loves me deeply. The realization of that isn't one that creates fear or stifles joy, but rather one that brings an infinite amount of peace and freedom. I am free to love deeply and fiercely that ones that God has placed into my life as long as I remember that they aren't mine and that when God takes them from me it is because He loves them more than I do and He is moving in both of our lives for our good. I am free to plan and dream and live a full life as long as I keep my hands open and realize that when He changes my plans and my dreams don’t come true it is because He has planned and dreamed something unimaginably better for me. He is schooling my heart to rest peacefully in the knowledge that when I hold my hands open to Him, He will take things and give things and although the process at times can be painful, in the end I always find my hands to be full of beautiful creations fashioned in the heart of my loving heavenly Father.

“The next moment is as much beyond our grasp, and as much in God's care, as that a hundred years away. Care for the next minute is as foolish as care for a day in the next thousand years. In neither can we do anything, in both God is doing everything.” C.S. Lewis

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Fount of Every Blessing

My birthday has rolled around again (that happens so quickly these days J ).   Sometimes, I’m surprised by my own age, I’ll wake up some mornings and think I’m still in my 20’s only to jolt myself back to reality that more time has passed then I think.   We use our birthdays and anniversaries to mark the passage of time.   They call us to stop and remember what has happened since the last time we passed this way. And whether the memories are good or bad there is something in us that needs to recall, evaluate, and acknowledge what has transpired.   As I pass my milestone this year I am captivated by the words of a very old hymn penned in 1757 by Robert Robinson, “Come Thou Fount”.   “Come thou fount of every blessing tune my heart to sing thy grace.”   Looking back over my year and even farther past that into the years before, I find that my life is covered with evidences of God’s grace.   They are weaved into every portion of my existence and...
Read more

I did it again :-)

Image
So I have this really bad habit, but I'll let you guess what it is :-) 2 nights ago Rob asked me to get out our rent money for the year. When you pay rent here, you pay it in one huge lump sum for the year. We don't keep that kind of money in China so my mom recently brought enough cash for it and some other moving expenses over in U.S. cash. We were so happy to have her here visiting that I mostly forgot about everything else for those 10 days and just enjoyed having her. So anyways, I dutifully went to the cabinet where I had hidden the money only to discover.....it was gone! I looked, looked again, and then pulled everything out of the cabinet. Then I decided it must have been in one or two other hiding spots that I usually use, but it wasn't there either. Rob asked me what I remembered about the money, like what it was in, when my mom had given it to me. Truthfully I remembered nothing about it. I couldn't even remember ever having seen it. I didn't...
Read more

Better a Neighbor who is near

Image
High up on my thankful list today are my neighbors. Growing up I lived on the same street for most of my life and knew my neighbors fairly well. It was nice growing up in the same neighborhood and knowing who lived close by. It's been something I miss now that we live in the big city and have become apartment dwellers. One evening last fall I brought my children outside to play and discovered that in our apartment complex there was somewhat of an outdoor concert going on. The purpose of it was to draw a crowd and advertise for some big new country club being built somewhere along the coast. But they were handing out free bubble swords to the children so we joined the throng and braved the loud music to get some bubbles. While we were there, a woman approached me, smiled, and said in English, "my name is Sunny, can we be friends?" I laughed and said ok. This is quite a common occurrence for me when I'm out walking or shopping. There is always someone who wan...
Read more