Ties that Bind


We came home to America with lots of excitement.  We came home ready to celebrate Christmas, love on family, and make memories with our friends.  We love these visits to the states.  It's so fun to see all the people we miss.  


Nobody was more excited for this visit than Robbie.  He's been waiting for it for weeks and has had trouble sleeping and functioning in his regular routine cause he's been busy checking to make sure he wasn't missing the big day.  I love that he has so many good memories of our times in the states.  I want him to keep those ties here and feel at home when we visit.  I'm so happy with where he is at in his understanding and handling of our multicultural life.  From time to time we go on mommy son "dates" for ice cream or something.  That was where we first broached the topic of coming to America for Christmas.  I asked him where he would prefer to be, in America or China.  His answer was so mature.  He told me he had friends and family in both places so he loved them the same and he was happy in whatever one we were in at the time.  But he told me he thought we should go to the states for Christmas because we had been in China for the last one.  I'm so thankful that he feels that way.  It makes my heart happy.  But inside my mommy heart there is this little nagging fear every time we come back: what if all the kids Robbie remembers as his "friends" don't remember him?  What if he comes home so excited and no one cares that he's there?  What if everyone ignores him and his little heart gets smooshed?  My kids are tough because they have to be.  They are continually placed in new situations with new people, new cultures, and new languages.  I require a lot of them because it is part of our life and they handle it amazingly.  But I worry for their hearts, I don't know how much is too much to ask of them sometimes and when they have the opportunity to be on familiar turf where they aren't a foreigner, I desperately want it to go well.  But of course I can't manufacture friends for them or control how other children treat them.  


So you can imagine how I felt sending my kids into a crowded room on our first Sunday back and how thrilled my heart was when little Kiara grabbed Maddies hand and led her off to play or sweet Jared jumped right up to sit next to Robbie while Aubrey and Aiden called out hello to him.  Or how happy I was that their cousins all played with them as if they've never been apart.  So to all of you out there who take the time to talk about my kids with your kids, to send us mail, to look at our pictures, I just want to say thank you!!!  You have no idea how much of a difference your efforts make in the lives and hearts of me and my kids.  This week you helped me pull the knot tighter on the string that ties a part of their heart to this spot of the world; their birthplace, their home country, the first page of their story.  They have strings tied to quite a few places these days but I so much want the string to this place to stay strong until it's time to cut it someday and fly to their forever home.  


Comments

  1. 3inaugustJanuary 2, 2013 at 11:07 PM

    I always feel the same way. What if you come and your kids don't remember who we are, what if they all are too shy to play together because they don't feel connected? Considering how well it went, we must be doing a pretty fair job of keeping the kids interested in their cousins. They can't wait to play together again. Kudos to us both, and much love and appreciation to you!

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