Learning to Change


This fall semester I have taken up the challenge of becoming a preschool teacher! Yikes! I still can’t believe that when I say it. I never had any aspirations of becoming a teacher. I like children, individually, but taking care of a room full of little children has never been my idea of fun. I very seriously much prefer a room full of injured, bleeding, sick people to a room full of small children. Being a nurse was a dream job for me, in fact I often still dream of it and am disappointed to wake up and realize it isn’t true. Teaching is my husband’s passion. He lives and breathes it. I have always admired his ability to command a crowded room and get them excited about whatever he is teaching. But it’s never been something I wanted to do. In fact, standing in front of a room of people used to make me physically shake.



But life is full of things you never thought would happen to you isn’t it? And you have to keep adjusting, and changing, and growing to be able to thrive as your world transforms around you. So I have found myself in a situation where being a teacher is the only job available to me, and although it isn’t my first choice, it’s the choice I’ve been handed. Truthfully I’m quite thankful for my new job. The timing is perfect. The kid’s preschool approached me about teaching English for them at the start of this semester. I had a very specific list of demands that had to be met for me to be willing to take it, such as only 3 mornings a week (so I could continue Chinese lessons the other 2), being able to stay home if my children were sick, and the freedom to take the time off when we needed to return to the U.S. for long visits. To my surprise, they said OK, no problem. So I found myself the English teacher for a classroom of 8, 2-5 year old students for 2 hours with a little 10 minute baby class thrown in the middle of it. I go to class right after I drop my kids off in the morning, and then am finished before I need to pick them up. It’s ideal.




So I am learning the art of teaching; lesson planning, enthusiasm, lots of interaction, crafts and singing. It’s been quite a challenge for me. I’m thankful for the practice I had last semester from teaching a group of my neighbors kids on a once weekly basis. And I’m very thankful for the practice this is giving me in learning to teach my own children. Homeschooling is another non-dream of mine. Actually it’s something that scares me silly. But short of shelling out $18,000 per year/per child to send them to international school, I don’t see any other options before me. I will continue them in their chinese classroom education (Chinese and Math) for as long as they can manage it, but it’s up to me to teach them English reading/writing, History, and a little science.




But as I am learning, just because you aren’t naturally gifted at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn to do it. The more time I am putting into this, the more I am enjoying it. I don’t know if it will ever be a passion for me like nursing was. I still get more excited over a pile of ace bandages and steri strips than I do over a preschool craft. But, I’m finding that God is giving me joy in just doing the tasks He has set before me the best that I can. My life doesn’t look like I thought it would, but with each new change, He keeps giving me the grace and strength to rise to the challenge. I can do this with confidence because He never changes. He is my rock of stability in the middle of the every changing sea of life. He is always one step ahead of me preparing the way and I find that each time I arrive at a new door and step inside, I can see that He has already been there, arranging the details and making me ready to tackle whatever lies ahead.



Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes His steps”

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