Entering our world
My blogging lately has been seriously lax. But in my defense, our internet was almost never working. After a month of internet problems, computers breaking, and VPN issues I am finally online for long enough to type in a few thoughts. Of course I find I have so many thoughts that I can't narrow them down.
This past month I have been busy keeping Robbie out of trouble and healthy. On Thursday he finally went back to preschool. It was a great day! After about 6 weeks out, I was afraid he would be timid and probably cry. But I was so proud that he walked right in and didn't shed a tear. His teacher happily reported that he played well with the other kids and had a wonderful day. She was as shocked as I was. But we are so happy for him.
It is a strange thing raising kids on the other side of the world in a culture not your own. It makes you continually evaluate your parenting, why you do the things you do. Is the reason a good one, or one born of habit, or one born of culture, or just something that works for your family? Should you change your process based on the culture you are now in? Parenting anywhere takes lots of thought and effort. Parenting abroad just makes that thought and effort more obvious I think. A few weeks ago Rob and I were able to go to a seminar on TCK's (Third Culture Kids). We have heard this particular speaker before and really enjoy her insights and enthusiasm.
My kids are young, and so I know some people wonder if these things are even relevant at this age, but listening to her talk, and listening to my own children express their thoughts I find that already they are expressing the thought patterns of these TCK's. In the 2.5 years since we have moved to China we have gone back to the states 2 times, once each summer. My kids (Robbie especially) love these visits. Already he has begun asking me again and again when it will be time for our summer trip to America. He has a list of things he wants to do; fishing with Pop, a visit to the please touch museum, trips to the farm, big bowls of ice cream, play dates with his friends, and most importantly the celebration of his birthday. He has never celebrated a birthday in China before. Of course Maddie is a little parot and thinks whatever Robbie thinks. So she was equally excited for our trip. They make me homesick just thinking about it.
I find I have to walk a fine line with them. I want them to love two places equally. I want them to be happy and in love with our home here. I want them to have friends, know the language, love the food, and claim it as their home. But with an equally deep love, I want them to maintain and comes with measures of joy and pain. When you love two places you are always missing one of them. To be in one place that you love is to be absent from another place that you equally love. There is no way to change that truth.
This summer we will experience a collision of our two worlds. My wonderful parents, loving sister, her amazing husband, and their beautiful daughter will traveling 1/2 the world, to descend upon our spot on the globe. It is the only thing that makes the thought of not returning to America this summer bearable for me. For me and my children it is the most precious gift they could ever give us. They will experience firsthand with us what our lives here are like. From now on when we describe our favorite resteraunt or our walk to school, or our friends, or the crazy driving, they will understand. The kids can show off their favorite places, favorite toys, favorite foods, and best friends. They will enter our world! It is the best thing they could ever do for us. It means the world to us that they will be able to understand a bit of what our other world is like. As we have learned and heard over and over again in our TCK reading, when someone else cares enough to enter your world, it bridges the gap and allows these kids to fully open up. Someone who knows both of their worlds can be trusted with their special secrets, and exciting stories, and imaginations.
The tickets are bought, the plans are made, and now we are counting down. It still hurts our hearts not to be going to the states. It boggles my mind to think that most likely 2 years will go by from the last time I hug some of my family, or laugh with my friends, or see their precious children grow. 2 years without real ice cream, or barefeet in the grass, or a trip to the store where everything is in English. I can't bear to think of what it will change in our friendships and relationships. But I also couldn't be happier for what this summer will do for our relationship with my parents and sister and her family. It will mean the world to my kids and me to have them here.
It makes me even more thankful that Jesus came down. That He entered our world and lived among us. Because He lived as one of us, experienced pain, temptation, and sickness, as well as joy, love, and life; He can truly be trusted. We can share with him our hearts and He can understand them. We can share with Him our burdens and failures, and He can intercede for us before the throne of grace. Hebrews 4:15-16 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then draw near to the throne of grace with confidence that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
This past month I have been busy keeping Robbie out of trouble and healthy. On Thursday he finally went back to preschool. It was a great day! After about 6 weeks out, I was afraid he would be timid and probably cry. But I was so proud that he walked right in and didn't shed a tear. His teacher happily reported that he played well with the other kids and had a wonderful day. She was as shocked as I was. But we are so happy for him.
It is a strange thing raising kids on the other side of the world in a culture not your own. It makes you continually evaluate your parenting, why you do the things you do. Is the reason a good one, or one born of habit, or one born of culture, or just something that works for your family? Should you change your process based on the culture you are now in? Parenting anywhere takes lots of thought and effort. Parenting abroad just makes that thought and effort more obvious I think. A few weeks ago Rob and I were able to go to a seminar on TCK's (Third Culture Kids). We have heard this particular speaker before and really enjoy her insights and enthusiasm.
My kids are young, and so I know some people wonder if these things are even relevant at this age, but listening to her talk, and listening to my own children express their thoughts I find that already they are expressing the thought patterns of these TCK's. In the 2.5 years since we have moved to China we have gone back to the states 2 times, once each summer. My kids (Robbie especially) love these visits. Already he has begun asking me again and again when it will be time for our summer trip to America. He has a list of things he wants to do; fishing with Pop, a visit to the please touch museum, trips to the farm, big bowls of ice cream, play dates with his friends, and most importantly the celebration of his birthday. He has never celebrated a birthday in China before. Of course Maddie is a little parot and thinks whatever Robbie thinks. So she was equally excited for our trip. They make me homesick just thinking about it.
I find I have to walk a fine line with them. I want them to love two places equally. I want them to be happy and in love with our home here. I want them to have friends, know the language, love the food, and claim it as their home. But with an equally deep love, I want them to maintain and comes with measures of joy and pain. When you love two places you are always missing one of them. To be in one place that you love is to be absent from another place that you equally love. There is no way to change that truth.
This summer we will experience a collision of our two worlds. My wonderful parents, loving sister, her amazing husband, and their beautiful daughter will traveling 1/2 the world, to descend upon our spot on the globe. It is the only thing that makes the thought of not returning to America this summer bearable for me. For me and my children it is the most precious gift they could ever give us. They will experience firsthand with us what our lives here are like. From now on when we describe our favorite resteraunt or our walk to school, or our friends, or the crazy driving, they will understand. The kids can show off their favorite places, favorite toys, favorite foods, and best friends. They will enter our world! It is the best thing they could ever do for us. It means the world to us that they will be able to understand a bit of what our other world is like. As we have learned and heard over and over again in our TCK reading, when someone else cares enough to enter your world, it bridges the gap and allows these kids to fully open up. Someone who knows both of their worlds can be trusted with their special secrets, and exciting stories, and imaginations.
The tickets are bought, the plans are made, and now we are counting down. It still hurts our hearts not to be going to the states. It boggles my mind to think that most likely 2 years will go by from the last time I hug some of my family, or laugh with my friends, or see their precious children grow. 2 years without real ice cream, or barefeet in the grass, or a trip to the store where everything is in English. I can't bear to think of what it will change in our friendships and relationships. But I also couldn't be happier for what this summer will do for our relationship with my parents and sister and her family. It will mean the world to my kids and me to have them here.
It makes me even more thankful that Jesus came down. That He entered our world and lived among us. Because He lived as one of us, experienced pain, temptation, and sickness, as well as joy, love, and life; He can truly be trusted. We can share with him our hearts and He can understand them. We can share with Him our burdens and failures, and He can intercede for us before the throne of grace. Hebrews 4:15-16 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then draw near to the throne of grace with confidence that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
I'm so glad parents abroad are keen to learn about TCKs. Yes parenting kids is a challenge and parenting TCKs is an even greater challenge. I'm glad there is an increasing amount of information, books and workshops on this topic. I was a TCK, lived in Africa 19 years and blog on the topic. Have you heard of Libby Stephens? http://www.libbystephens.com/ On her blog there is good information.
ReplyDeleteWishing you wisdom!
this was your best post yet! I totally agree with the idea of entering one another's world to build understanding and trust in the relationship. After all, as you pointed out, it's already been modeled for us by the perfect One!
ReplyDeleteI did actually just hear Libby Stevens speak for the second time. I love hearing her talk! Her experience is fantastic.
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