O the Depth of the Riches...

All year long God has been using a very simple woman to work a change in my heart little by little. This past week He very gently used her again to give me another glimpse of the depths of my heart and how much He still wants to do with it. It's a bit complicated to explain so I hope you'll stick with me. I have a feeling it might be a 2 part story.




When we first moved to Asia, I had every intention of being able to handle things on my own. I was aware that mostly all foreigners with children have an "ayi" The word literally means Aunt or Helper. But I was sure I would be able to manage taking care of my children and keeping my home all by myself. I got about a month into it and called a friend disolved in tears because obviously this just wasn't true. Living here, we have no car, so every outing involves hailing a taxi or waiting for a bus, with a 5 month old and a 2 year old this is very complicated. Grocery shopping with 2 small children is a suicide mission. Imagine entering the store, attempting to find what you need, although all of the packaging is in Chinese and 1/2 of it you don't recognize, all the while being followed around by a crowd of no less than 10 curious onlookers who want to touch and talk to your children. Add to this that you can only take what you can physically carry because you have to walk home pushing a double stroller so you will need to repeat this activity about every other day. Because of pollution and toddlers and lack of carpeting the floors must be mopped almost every day. All of your food must be cooked completely from scratch, including salad dressing, tortillas, salsa, apple sauce, and granola bars and there are no dishwashers. Paying bills requires finding the location and negotiating in Chinese, which I don't speak yet. Add to all of that at least 2 hours of Chinese study per day and you have one exhausted mother and wife. At this point I was also blissfully unaware that we would also be entertaining a crowd of 40 or so every weekend. So although it went completely against my grain, we finally decided to hire an ayi. We were encouraged by many people here that we would be sustaining someone's livelihood, getting a great chance for us and our children to work on our Chinese, and getting some help around the house in the process.




It was obvious from the beginning that God sent her to us. The circumstances of us finding her couldn't be explained any other way. So enters our ayi, a sweet, illiterate, and very poor woman who challenges my soul daily. She speaks no English, and my Chinese is still very poor, so our communication is rather comical. Lots of gesturing, trial and error, and lots of great experience for me trying out my Chinese vocabulary over and over again till she understands me. It has been a HUGE struggle for me this year to have someone so often in my home that I have no ability to share the good news with. She is aware we are Christians, but has NO idea what that means. She never heard the name of J.C. before entering our home. My only gospel to her, is our lives, how we live, and how we treat her. Early on she was very frightened of us, but has over time come to realize that we love her and she has nothing to fear. We gradually realized that she must be very poor from her complete ignorance of almost all of the things in our home and how they would work. But we didn't start to grasp how poor until one day we asked her to sit down and eat with us, she had refused many times before, but that day she must have been starving (literally) because she sat and just inhaled what we gave her. We eventually learned that her 2 children live in a village province 10 hours from here. She and her husband live here, and send all of their money back there to put them through school. She works at my home during weekday afternoons, and then works until late at night even on the weekends in a hotel kitchen. 2 weeks ago now she invited us, along with our Chinese teacher as a translator, to her home for dinner. I will never forget that experience. We followed through an open market, down an alley, and into a tiny concrete courtyard which was surrounded by about 8 tiny one room dwellings. The room that she calls home is just enough space for a bed, a tiny table, 1 gas burner, and a cabinet holding all of her posessions. The windows have no glass or screens, just wooden shutters to keep out the wind. There is no running water or toilet facilities, no heat, and just one outlet to plug in her one light. The floors and walls are filthy unfinished concrete, like the walls of a prison. She gets her water from a hose spicket out in the courtyard, and it is only available in the afternoon. We had the great privilege that day of sharing the good news with her and her sister via our chinese teacher. As far as I'm aware it was the first time she had every really heard the whole story. As we left, I said to Rob, remind me of this if I EVER complain again. I have never before personally experienced poverty up close so it honestly has rocked my world. I am SO ashamed of myself for all the times I have complained and wished for more. And even more ashamed of myself for all the times I have taken for granted that I was given the good news of eternal life as a child and have had the opportunity to personally know my savior for 24 years now. What did I do to deserve such riches in every area of my life? The answer to that is nothing of course. Ephesians 2:4 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our sin, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved-so that in the coming ages He might show the immesurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." A long time ago, someone told me that, and now it is my immense privilege to share the hope of this great love with someone who has never heard. Who lives without a knowledge of the riches available to her for all eternity.

This story isn't quite finished, but it's getting to long, so I'll save it for another day. Below I am putting some pictures of our visit to her home so you can get a tiny vision for what you truly possess.